I love blogging.
I truly do. I don't just have my blog but I also belong to some other groups in which my story is shared with people all over the world. For the longest time I was ashamed of my story because I felt like I was so different. I was tormented horribly for years because of my story by others.The physical and emotional pain I felt from such a young age that I thought might be my life indefinitely is so far removed now. I have people reach out to me on a daily basis to tell me that because of my willingness to share my story, it's inspired them and made them believe that they can absolutely change their story, too. That heals my soul like nothing else ever has or ever could I think.
I love Blogger's format because it allows me to see all of the countries my blog has been read in. US, Canada, UK, Australia, Slovenia, Hong Kong, New Zealand, Indonesia, Ireland, Netherlands, Philippines, France, Germany, Poland, Mexico, Austria, Panama, Belgium, Norway, Russia, Japan, Pakistan, Turkey, Brazil, South Africa, Singapore, Finland and Ukraine. 28 countries.
People always ask "Why does God allow this to happen to someone?" For a long time I did wonder "Why me? Why do I have to endure this? Will it ever stop?" Had a friend not been horribly sick for many years and shared his story with me, I wouldn't be where I am today. I never would have started juicing nor would I know anything about Primal/Paleo. I wouldn't know about how much you can heal yourself when you take doctors and medications out of the equation. If I hadn't had all of those experiences, I wouldn't be able to help others the way that I have.
There is a song called Healing Begins by a group called Tenth Avenue North. My favorite part of the song says "Afraid to let your secrets out, everything that you hide can come crashing through the door now. But too scared to face all your fear, so you hide but you find that the shame won't disappear. So let it fall down. There's freedom waiting in the sound when you let your walls fall to the ground."
At dinner last night with a girlfriend, we were talking about the freedom I feel in knowing that I can't possibly feel more hurt than I've already felt before. While we were talking about something very specific, I feel as though that notion spills over into every part of my life. Physically, I can't possibly feel pain worse than what I've felt before. Emotionally, there is nothing that can ever hurt me more than I've already been hurt before. Spiritually, I can never be lower than I was before. There is such freedom in knowing that about myself. To know that my worst days are truly behind me and there is no turning back now is a truly incredible feeling.
For so many years I feel as though I walked through life merely existing. I have lived more in the past two years than the twenty-seven years before that. I embrace the life I have and know that God has absolutely used every part of me and my story. I know that I was designed to do more than just exist.
What's your story?